So B and I have this thing where we call the hot actor or actress on a show our boyfriend or girlfriend (respectively). And no you naughty, naughty people neither of us have a same sex faux-friends. Although, I’m sure that would make for some very hot action. We add new ones all the time. Off hand, I can only think of a few of B’s tv girlfriends. Mostly, I blocked it out when he says he’s adding someone to the list. It’s like my brain protecting my fragile, yet overly inflated ego. Fortunately, he doesn’t see many he considers hot enough to rank on his list of prime time girlfriends. I must say, it’s very tough to rank above the hotness that is me (see before when I mentioned my ego).
I on the other hand have quite the long and growing list. First of all, I can’t be limited on my tv boy-toy options. I need variety for my fantasies. Secondly, it’s not my fault that they cast really hot and muscular guys. I am a woman, you know. I have womanly needs that can’t be satisfied with just one or two fake boyfriends. I do not even care if the show they are on is the worst show ever or if their acting is reminiscent of an epileptic robot. I will watch my man.
Here’s a sample list (in no particular order) of my tv boy-toys (that are totally mine so don’t even think about taking them or asking me to share them b/c I’ll totally call you a slut behind your back and tell everybody how you can’t even afford premium cable or an HDTV):
1. That guy that plays Eric Delco on CSI Miami
2. That guy that plays Nick on CSI Las Vegas (even though he is just awful at acting)
3. Ian Somerhalder (OMFG he’s just beautiful)
4. Taye Diggs (although I don’t actually watch his show b/c it’s on at the same time as something else but every time he graces my tv screen I get a little tingle inside!!!)
5. Joshua Jackson (why else would I sit through the weird shit on Fringe)
6. Big Brother/Survivor “fill in the blank” hottie
7. David Boreanaz (Bones – he could handcuff me anytime…..sigh)
8. Ashton Kutcher (I even adamantly oppose drug and alcohol abuse but let’s be honest that mom is hilarious and Ashton’s good eye candy)
These guys are clearly claimed, so don’t get any funny ideas. I will fight for my man. Okay, I won’t actually fight because I actually don’t know how to but I’d totally yell really mean things at you or about you.
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